Clare James - Case 222886

I’ve told you everything already.

I know it’s serious, I called you.

Am I under arrest?

OK.

Matthew James 37. Maddocks Farm, Joseph Warren

No there aren’t any ‘problems in our marriage’ thank you very much.

7 years in September.

But we went out for a long time before that.

Since she was at school.

Yes, I told you everything was fine.

No we don’t. A dogs, a jack and a cat.

Of course we wanted them but well, that never happened.

Goodness knows who’ll take over.

No it was a normal morning.

OK.

I have a large farm. 900 acres. Cows, a beef suckler herd. And a livery yard.

Up in Josph Warren.

And then i have small 200 acre unit 5 miles away.

I feed that unit before breakfast. And the rest after.

Yes I had already fed the small unit.

Yes I came in to breakfast about 9.00.

Clare was up, unusually. Dressed even.

Jeans, some T shirt I expect.

No I don’t remember

I don’t remember what I was wearing.

Why would i remember what she was wearing?

Yes we were talking about flies.

She obsesses about flies.

She was swatting the windows.

We have big windows

and she was swearing at them.

What? Oh yes. She would talk about them and sometimes, to them.

Don’t get me wrong.

She never liked them.

But well, this year, she found them very upsetting indeed.

So like I said, she was swatting flies.

And then i had to tell her, that if she wanted to use fly spray, then wait until I’d finished eating.

Porridge, coffee, toast.

I phoned Peter Thompson.

He’s from the NFU, about the insurance. He comes out once a year.

No I haven’t seen him yet.

Well then I went outside.

Clare? Well yes she doesn’t work anymore.

She gardens a lot.

Cooks occasionally

Oh no she wasn’t always.

She was hardly ever home.

So yes. I put the silage in with the cattle, scraped the muck fixed the quad and then met up with Tom Downing at his house. He’s a neighbour. We were going over my bill, to make sure it all tallied? He does contract work for me.

I then gritted the road of snow. And then went in for lunch.

Like i told you. She was a bit upset.

Well she was crying.

It was those flies again.

No, she wasn’t usually so bad.

She kept scratching and saying that she could feel them.

I mean really? Flies in December.

That said that she may have eaten one. That they were dirty. That they carried shit and bugs.

Of course I did something.

I love my wife!

I cuddled her until she calmed down.

I put her to bed. Tucked her in.

She sleeps a lot these days.

Yes the fly thing is a little out of hand. My mother thinks I should have her sectioned. But my mother never liked Clare. She’s best with me.

She just said that Clare wasn’t the only one to lose a baby.

Well me of course!

Sarah was a still born.

Funny I never felt death like that before. My world is one where life and death are common place.

But losing your own, well it’s something else ain’t it?

Clare, well she never really got over it.

Almost a year ago today.

In this room right here.

The sound that she made when Sarah was born is one I’ll never gorget.

Look. I still get goosebumps.

I remember wrapping my little girl up in a pillowcase.

I don’t mind saying it. I cried.

Clare didn’t look at me for weeks.

I know she blames me for taking her baby away.

For covering it.

She hates the idea of Sarah being alone under the ground without her mummy.

She was a set designer. Very successful.

She said the last time she felt he baby move was in Iceland.

They had found this super cool empty farmhouse with a graveyard of old ‘50s cars in the field in front.

I can show you the pics if you like, she was so excited.

They’d stopped there to explore its potential, not realising it was not derelict at all and that any move they’d made was being watched. The owner had been known as a witch. In Iceland only men could be witches.

All she could remember were the flies on the kitchen table. How they covered every surface.

I always remember her saying “ it quivered, an entity made of many.”

She had felt a movement in the air. But no longer in her womb.

A witch ha you say

But when we lost Sarah, she become obsessed.

So yes, it had snowed that day, very heavily.

We’d already had a lot but that afternoon there was a blizzard. And we must have had several feet dumped.

Me, Jack and the Massey, had plenty to do, clear the road, grit it. undo all the ball cocks, so that the water runs free and the pipes don’t burst.

Extra food for the cattle, you know.

What is this? I haven’t done anything wrong. What are you doing to find her?

Like I told you I went out and she wans’t there when I got back.

I told you already, the snow was heavy, really heavy. We had supper together. She cooked it. Spaghetti bolognese.

No she seemed fine.

No, no flies.

Yes sometimes she’s a little anxious but most of the time she’s fine.

I told her about the calving.

That there was a new member to our herd and she seemed happy.

No, she suggested it.

It wasn’t my idea.

Well, I have done it before.

You can see the main road from our kitchen window. It’s normally teeming with cars. It’s the main trunk road into town. It’s never empty day or night, except when it’s blocked.

So she said that the road must be blocked. That people get stuck in their cars in this weather.

That it was too cold and too dangerous to be stuck in a car on a night like this.

I have a big Massey, I use the digger to move the snow and scrape the roads.

I’ve helped the council in the past and they leave me grit and salt in case.

I left about 8.30.

Yes I cleared the main road till the motorway.

There were at least 12 cars that I pulled out, it was a good night. I must have been given £1000 to help them. I never ask of course, but it’s only right that people give me something for my trouble.

Around 2.00 o’clock. The house was dark when I got back.

Because I slept in the spare room. I didn't’ want to wake her.

She really struggles to sleep these days and waking her would mean she wouldnt’ be able to sleep again.

She’s really grumpy when she hasn’t slept.

So like I said, I didn’t know she wasn't’ there till I came in for breakfast.

Jack was waiting for me, obviously not fed.

I took up a cup of coffee for Clare.

Yes, yes, I make her one most mornings.

But she wasn’t there.

I checked the bathroom, no-one had used the shower, and then I checked the bed. It was cold.

I tried her mobile. It was on charge in the office. No-one other than me had left the house, there was only my footsteps in the snow.

Well you tell me.