The Quilt

He was aware of blue lights flashing, people shouting, smoke, water hissing. 

Around him was large quilt that he hugged tightly to his body 

He sipped his hot sweet tea and all that he could feel was relief,

relief that he was alive,

relief that nobody else was in the house,

relief that he'd saved the quilt.

A fire officer had interviewed him and he was now now waiting for an ambulance to take him to the hospital for routine tests. He would meet Johnny there.

He looked down at the quilt.

Couldn't let you burn could I?

I wouldn't be forgiven for that one.

He smiled, he often found himself talking to the quilt.

It was if her spirit resided there.

In the quilt, she came alive. 

He had always been a practical man, a man that belonged to the outdoors, to sport, to water.

He lacked imagination but was solid and kind and hard working.

They had met when they were still teenagers

She was, unconventional, a sparkly spirited ball of creativity,

with purple hair and piercings in her nose mouth and ears.

He had found her curiously bewitching.

He had loved her from the moment he seen her and to his surprise she had loved him back.

The wild and the tame together.

She’d started making the quilt many years ago.

He had been surprised.

This was such a quiet hobby.

So unlike her her.

Her vivacious and expressive singing, her street dancing, her theatre roles.

But she had shared her thoughts with him and now they were his too.

Look here she would say, this is the jumper that I wore the first time we met 

And this is from my wedding dress - the fabric that your cousin designed and printed by hand. 

He remembered. It had been a beautiful wedding. A real country affair. She had sported cherry red hair to match her Doc Martins and a white silk and organza dress that looked like it was a costume from Swan Lake. She had looked beautiful and eccentric. And he had known on that day that he would love her forever. 

The white T-shirt with the JCB logo, Johnny’s second birthday present  which he wore until he was 6, torn and finishing shortly above his belly button. 

So much white, the christening gown she had made and smocked, 

the white cotton from the shirt of his naval uniform, the bandage that had held poor Johnnies bones in place, his 2 weeks in isolation, the drip and the other children who were not so lucky. 

Of course there had been the sad times, the bad times, the lonely times too.

The remains of his best friend, a black scrap of trouser. The madness that followed and still burdened him today, HMS Coventry,

the Falklands,

the fear of drowning as the ship dropped like a stone to the ocean floor.

Of being too late.

Of seeing his best friends eyes, empty.

He had returned home, had left the Navy. He was categorised unfit. PTSD they’d called it. He’d called it Hell.

One of the fire men came to check on him.

Can i get you another cuppa?  He asked. I always find a sweet tea to be just the ticket in situations like this.

He nodded,

Thank you yes, but shouldn't you be helping your contemporaries?

The fireman had a large face with twinkly eyes.

Oh I wouldn't worry too much. They know what they're doing.

And the two watched the blaze, and the fire gradually enveloping the whole house.

Can I get you anything else? 

Are you warm enough?

Joe shook his head and tightened his grip on the quilt.

No thanks I’m fine.

Oh Joe don't throw away that shirt I need it for the quilt .

And he'd say why?

And she’d say you made love to me, there, under that tree, do you remember? Now we can't forget that can we?

But I always made love to you under that tree, he’d say

But from this, love making, Johnny came into our lives. 

He chuckled to himself. Oh my darling If you were here you'd have the pjs off my back to record this little fire story.

He could see her now folded over the quilt, sewing. 

Stitching our lives together, she would say.

Telling our story so that we shall never forget.

Joe,

she would say 

in this quilt we will always be together,

in this quilt all my love for you is here. 

He had woken in the middle of the night And have known something was wrong straight away.

The house was on fire.

His old bones struggled out of bed. 

There was smoke everywhere. 

He’d coughed.

He’d needed the toilet and habit push him towards the bedroom door to the bathroom.

He felt the heat. Flames licked the balustrade, There was smoke everywhere. He’d shut the door, quick.

He realised that it wouldn't matter where he went for a tinkle.

And with a shameful  horror he found himself peeing against the dressing table.

He opened the bedroom window.

Fresh air flooded the room.

He shouted for help to an empty sky, black fields and the night darkness.

He remembered the ship and was momentarily paralysed.

His eyes fell on the quilt and in an instant he remembered the phone.

His mobile which lay next to his bed.

He dialled 999.

He called the fire brigade.

Yes this was an emergency.

Yes it was bad.

He stroked the quilt in the light of the flashing ambulance he found a square from where the fire blazed brightest in his heart.

It was Pink taffeta. 

Whenever he thought of her she was wearing this dress, his Lady In Red.

Magenta, she would always correct him.

Next to it was a black and white striped fabric which had  been part of Johnny's dungarees. He had taken his first Steps wearing them and they had celebrated by dancing around the room with joy, Johnny on his shoulders.

He located the buttermilk material with tiny white dots had belonged to his mother. He still missed her. although she had caused many rifts in their marriage.  Mother had never really accepted their love. He guessed she was jealous. 

And here was the garish dandelion print. It had been his beach shirt. They had travelled to Spain. It was his first time abroad and he had packed jumpers and jeans and warm clothes to discover a heat that was unbearable, He had bought the first shirt he could find and she had laughed and laughed and laughed.

And here was the green shirt that she had worn. It had been his, but they had gone skinny dipping in the lake in Scotland and when they had returned a cow had left a large parcel on her clothes and she had been forced to wear his. She had been swamped by it, the hem reaching well below her knees and he had wanted her so badly despite her swollen belly.

Excuse me sir the ambulance is here.

The fireman was back with another cup of steaming tea.

But if i were you I’d get that down you.

They wont mind checking you over here first.

And seconds  later he was being gently poked prodded and examined.

He breathed in the scent of the quilt. For a long time it had smelled of her. More recently he had taken to spraying her perfume, Fendi, on the quilt. He found couldn’t sleep without it. The scent was of her, of sleeping in the same bed with the same person, of home.

She had been taken from him 6 years ago.

Lung Cancer

She had loved her ciggies.

They had not loved her back.

And as she got sicker, the more frenzied she became.

I need to finish this.

She had left him a letter asking him to put the last two patches on. One, from the nightgown she was wearing on her death bed, the other from the shirt he wore at the funeral.

She had left him a pattern piece and clear instructions on what to do.

You tube had shown him what he didn’t get. He had painstakingly sewn the pieces, weeping as he did so, cursing his large clumsy hands, wishing that he wasn’t here without her. He had found solace in it too and gradually she had come back to him, in those stitches

Now Joe, you can do better than that, what would your Captain think if he saw that? He could almost hear her say

He had asked his daughter in law to sew the wadding in and to stitch on the reverse using her sewing machine

There was a lining ready. It had been hand printed with snapshots of their lives together, embroidered with quotes from the letters that they had sent each other while he was away, and in large letters were the words,

Stitched together

Our quilt

Yours and Mine

For Life

And Death

And all that’s between

That's a mighty fine blanket said the paramedic but wouldn’t you prefer something drier and warmer?

He shook his head and said

No thank you.

I have every thing I need

right here.